Mad Max: Fury Road

I wasn't really anticipating seeing this movie, because of its remake status, but I saw some really amazing reviews on rotten tomatoes about how amazing it was. Rotten Tomatoes has it ranked at 98%. I have no ideal what the hell that means, but I assume that it is good. Now I don't want to talk about the film itself, god knows there are enough reviews out there for anyone to gather their own opinions of what it was. What I want to talk about is this online reviewing stuff. I don't know about the rest of you, but I take movies very seriously. Maybe too seriously. But I firmly believe that film making is an art form to be respected. And when a director creates a masterpiece on film, it is something truly truly impressive. I won't go into my list of the films that I think are masterpieces, but really there has to be some sort of criteria for what makes a film a "masterpiece".
A friend of mine asked me if I wanted to go see this film, and I thought to myself, meh. I'm a huge fan of the original Mad Max series and I really was not in a mood to see some half ass attempt at reigniting the old spark. So I went online to take a look at what other people thought. Usually, you go into an online search with the expectations that corporate Hollywood is paying a certain amount of hacks to post positive reviews so they can pump up ticket sales. Whatever, its a business strategy, I get it. You can usually filter out the bullshit agenda posts by picking the lowest star reviews and reading those. You can then adjust your filter again to weed the angry mothers, religious zealots, and overall generic haters who just want to bitch about something. Then you get to the meaty, people who KNOW what good movies are reviews, and then you get a pretty clear picture of what a film is about. Well, I used all my old tricks of the trade to get a clear picture of what Mad Max was about. Literally 98% of the reviews were above and beyond positive for a summer action flick. Words like "amazing", "unbelievable", "masterpiece", and the ultimate words that any director wants to read...."Oscar worthy".
Oscar worthy??? A Mad Max film? Are you freaking kidding me? I read those words and all of sudden my friend's invitation was taken seriously. I called him up and left him a voice-mail. "Dude these reviews are unbelievable, I have to see what this thing is about." And so I went, expecting that I was about to see something truly mind boggling. A pure adrenaline summer blockbuster action flick that was Oscar worthy? I was truly excited. I thought I was in for something really special, a once in a lifetime experience, like the first time you see a film that is so different you can't even describe it to yourself. I wanted to capture a glimpse of some of that old movie magic again and I was on my way to do it!
And, fast forward to post movie viewing.... I won't go into it and spoil it for anyone. Needless to say, this film was pretty damn far from being an "Oscar worthy masterpiece". There were so many plot holes, awkward dialogue, and plain out bad writing that it isn't even worth cutting it up and looking at it under a microscope. Was it a cool summer action flick? Absolutely! I had a great time watching it! But to a movie buff like myself, to call something a masterpiece and mean it...you better damn well know what you are talking about. A great film is like a great painting, or a beautiful woman, or a mean sports car. A thing is either a masterpiece or it isn't. Mad Max is a 7 out of 10 at BEST. Truly not a masterpiece. What disturbs me, and clearly has me scratching my head, is what are they seeing that I am not seeing?
I think the answer, for me anyways, lies in the fact that there is no criteria for posting a review of a film online. Well there is a criteria, signing up for a login, but after that you are free to review away. In my opinion, these websites should have some sort of test in place for giving a film a "five star rating". Like for anything four stars and below, no test or explanation needed. But if you put "five stars", a moderator should contact you online and ask "okay so this is five stars...what else did you give five stars? Fast and Furious 7??? Okay you are banned. Seriously. BANNED."
So I'm half serious here, there should be a website for serious movie buff reviews designed by movie buffs FOR movie buffs. Let the masses have their brain candy, but I want my masterpieces to remain TRUE masterpieces.